You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
