There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
