Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
