If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
