well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
pray to the hookup gods
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
