If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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