mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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