i barfeds in our rink
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
