We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
