They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
