When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
