Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize