I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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