I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
