Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
