Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
