yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
