you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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