Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
