your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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