playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
