btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
