nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
