There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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