wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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