I think about you every night.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays