I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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