Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
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I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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