No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You were trust falling into bushes
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."