i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.