Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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