Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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