my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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