dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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