I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she smelled like a LAN party
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
