So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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