my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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