I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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