he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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