chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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