I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
