I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
