I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
