Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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