Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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