they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
