am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
not ubering you a puppy
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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