No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
