Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
