in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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