About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
