Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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