To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
