i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Randomize
