girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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