U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you had me at cake vodka
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
