She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize