Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize