The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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