is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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