Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You don't make any sense
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