you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
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And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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