I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
