i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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