Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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