I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
