the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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