Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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