I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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