Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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